issues.

we all have them. some large, some small, but all can be important when they start to take over your life. mine range from simply making the remote control & cell phone perfectly parallel on the coffee table to being unable to break down that emotional brick wall that i built years ago. both aggravating but obviously one has more control over my happiness level. sure, there are times when the concrete begins to crumble & there may even be a few holes but overall, it's still there. certainly i am not the only person that has done this to themselves. progress is currently being made though.

many days my mind feels like a maze. some turns i take can be quite fun & entertaining, while others take me to scary dark places. i have several notebooks filled with random thoughts & ideas. when i lay down at night there is a constant stream of craziness. it usually starts with something i was supposed to do that day, which leads to what i must do tomorrow, which then leads to a memory or hope for the future. there are some memories that i replay almost every day because something as normal as putting on my mascara triggers a thought process that i can not stop.

despite the fact that most people seem to think i am very laid back, i over think everything. i play out scenarios that i feel sure will never actually happen... but if they do, i like to think that i will be prepared.

does all of this mean that i am on the verge of losing it? (schizophrenia does run in the family.) am i slightly smarter than others & just need to learn how to control it? or is this normal & i should just get over it?